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Words

Uncategorized Jun 21, 2018

So, I love words...I love to use expansive, expressive, dynamic words because they enliven what we say.  It is amazing what they do...pick the right word and what you said or wrote just takes off.

Honestly...it is one of my huge life joys to play with language. Sadly, I rarely find people who can play like that. My husband’s best friend can...and when we have the chance to get together, we go out of our way to banter, which I love.  

What’s so funny, in the realm of public speaking or writing, I always get told to diminish my use of words because it puts distance between myself and those I am writing to.

Consequently, I find myself writing and then going back and changing it, which is fine, but it always brings to my mind the role of language in our lives and in our healing.

What's so funny is the role words play in what we do or don't do, there's a lot of ways we learn to use words that block us from taking action 

I find this when I'm speaking to women that they tell me, “yeah, you know, I, I am 80 pounds, 100 pounds overweight. But when I look in the mirror, I see that as just being temporary. And so, you know, I tell myself this is just temporary, just haven't figured it out yet.” Then, they move on.

In reality what they are telling me, “I've been doing that for 10 years..it hasn’t worked, but it makes me feel better” or my conversations with women who feel so extremely tired and then turn around and placate the situation using their words, “well, this is just because of this harrowing job” or “my kids are really stressful” or  “people keep depending on me 

The big issue comes next, because, after those words, they stop.  

Literally, using their words, they set up blockades that are near insurmountable 

How????

Well, words are programming, we can program movement forward, or staying stuck, every day we have that choice.  With a poor choice of words, we can propagate illness, fatigue, lack of wealth, lack of success, lack of relationship, and more…

Notice...the words...I love the word propagate:)

Sadly, it isn’t just about what we say, but what we do with what we say every day, because if we are constantly affirming it won’t work, or it won’t happen, or I don’t have time, I don’t have money, we are generating stuckness that then will generate non-action.

Soon, operating this way, we discover it appears to be impossible for our situation to change.  Feel for a moment what that feels like, that crushing, heaviness which takes over when we start to believe nothing will change.

Think now, does it get any better when we ignore it?  Or maybe even worse yet when we placate it...I will get on that just as soon as... or once I have some time on my hands I will pay attention to this.  

Does it change it?

No, it never does.

I know that in my life it never did. I spent years upon years exhausted, worn out, watching as my body failed to function the way I really wanted it to.   I convinced myself “well my kids are little, so of course I'm exhausted and of course I'd feel like I don't have time to do the right things for myself” I let myself believe because I was eating organic, not eating fast food, drinking soda, or junk food my effects were likely less...even while my weight continued to climb, even while my pain and inflammation grew.

I looked around and thought, well, it's probably my hormones, after all, I have three kids, I work a lot and my body is taking longer to catch up.

So here I was again, I was using my words, making reasonable reasons, setting out beliefs and providing meanings that allowed me to keep going day today, but not really take action. And the dangerous thing about that is the way that time and our perception of it works, that simple use of words could mean that we end up 5-10 years down the road before we've even blinked an eye.

I know because it happened to me, I didn't feel good at 33, I had felt great at 26 but by 33, I didn't feel so good and I spent a lot of my thirties placating myself with words, “put your head down and keep ongoing”. But as I got further into my thirties and started to, see 40 in the distance, it started to hit me that I may have created an immovable situation because I had tried so many things and they hadn't worked.  In my desperation to not feel desperate, I had started to become numb to what I was experiencing, and got so used to it, I started to only look at solutions that seemed easy, convenient or fit my life as it was already.

So, I ask you to check-in with yourself, are you in that place?

Well, if it's easy... well, if it's simple…

How well has that worked for you thus far?

Sometimes our words allow us to create a wall beyond which we don't have to see, want to see if that is true for you? Go stand in the mirror and ask yourself, Am I reflecting what I really want in life?  Am I capable of serving the world at my full capacity if I continue like this? Am I setting an example I want anyone else to follow?

If you're not...it's time to change that.

If you find that you've been using words to create meanings and allow for numbness which has let you not take action and get stuck where you're at, then it's time to do something about that before it's too late because I've been where you're at and I can tell you that the words don't make it any better, not without action to back them up.

Blessings

Dr. Julie

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