“Is that half dome?”

I remember saying that no less than 50 times as our car wandered the roads of yosemite park when I was 12.  Every mountain face, every rock outcrop, I would ask, “is that half dome”

Of all the attractions, that one had this name, and had been described as so memorable, so powerful, I assumed it was the whole reason for the trip.

So as we wound through near impossible beauty, the tall trees, the towering mountains, the random waterfalls cascading down the sides of canyons...I just kept asking “is that half dome”

Then we got there and to be honest, it was a huge rock cleaved in half...the first impression was “oh, ok, so, that’s it?????”

I think of that moment and laugh, because those words are the biggest thing I remember about that family vacation, well, that and the neon pink knee high socks I wore in most of the photos…

But, I wonder now, as I ponder how many times I have missed the journey for...

Part of really healing is creating the space for that healing to occupy.  Truth is, much of the space within us is occupied by what has happened, what can't happen, by our old experiences, by the beliefs we hold, our story and what we believe is possible for us and more.

Reality is, for many of us, there just isn’t space for anything new.  Perhaps this is why I have seen so many women reach for healing and then pull back, that sense of fear, futility and strife is really reminiscent of what the space inside of us is experiencing.

It isn’t just emotional though, it is deep biology, reality is, this lack of space is a true tissue event.  The more we are confined in this place of no space within our mind, our tissues are reaching capacity.

This is really the problem because our tissues are reaching capacity, there is no drainage and no free flow.  As we reach capacity, our whole system goes into lower and lower levels and states of function.  Now,...

How often do you push through?

No one is looking, so if you can be honest, how often are you just pushing?

The women I talk to every day tell me that this is how they live, some sort of blending of obligation, should, have to and must, and they tell me it is killing them.

I ponder a lot how we get here, having lived in push through much of my own life, through grad school and two degrees simultaneously, having my oldest child in my last year of med school and my masters program in oriental medicine.  Building a practice, having more kids, grocery shopping, cooking, being a wife, friend, daughter, sister.

Then, taking the little bit left and turning it on myself by way of “I am not enough” “If I only looked better” “If I could just be thinner, I could feel better about all this stuff” on and on, turning what I had left into a toxic stew of diminishing return.

I would take my tired self and push to exercise because I was supposed to, or because...

“There’s a myth that time is money. In fact, time is more precious than money. It’s a nonrenewable resource. Once you’ve spent it, and if you’ve spent it badly, it’s gone forever.” ~ Neil A. Fiore

Consider this, in context of how much time is being lost being too tired to play,  adventure, have great sex, be absolutely present with your kids and grandkids, to follow your passions, to be alive. 

Time passed doesn't return, those hours and days and years, they aren't waiting for you when things finally get sorted out. 

My heart breaks daily for all the women who have convinced themselves that they are almost there, just have to get that one magic ingredient, that perfect alignment to their diet and so on.

It breaks because I have personally had women reach out a year after first contacting me....worse off than 12 months ago, and in that time, nothing got done but basics.  You know the place, where the dishes got done a few...

Do you wait to pray only when things are bad? Or do you honor the connection to God/Creator/Spirit all the time? 

I ask because it also bears asking do you reserve self care, good food, self love, rest and time off only for when you feel bad? Or do you celebrate your life, your body and your place in this world with those things daily?

We tend to reserve care for self for when it has become undeniable...a headache, an illness, when we can no longer get off the couch, when our pain, depression, or anxiety has reached a point where it cannot be ignored, and then, we stop, rest, take a break, bow out of commitments, call off work, tell people no.

Why?

One of the key aspects of how we get exhausted is that we reserve our love of self for when it is convenient or undeniable, and serve all others needs ahead of our own.  But, this model sucks!

Excuse my language, but if you have been saying yes to everyone around you before saying yes to you and you are suffering, isn’t it...

Can we talk about Desire?

You know that desire you have to feel better?  That itch you get for what life could be like? That sensation you crave where you wake up and are excited for the day or the surge of life you feel when inspiration hits and you can’t wait to enact the next steps of your DIVINE plan?

How many times have you felt that and then had to numb it out or turn your back to it? How many times have you convinced yourself that it isn’t time, will be too expensive, will be too time consuming, people won’t understand, or even began to question you...are you really capable of change, can you have that, do you deserve that?

Our doubting voices are toxic, those saboteurs who rob us of so many experiences, so much life.  We tend to live life based on them, we decide according to their beliefs, we act according to their limitations, and it shows, the number of us living lives that are ¼ or less of what we desire is staggering and growing daily....

Would you ever consider putting a bandaid on a bullet hole? Now, you may be thinking….why would I ever do that?

It sounds so simple, of course not! but if you want to know the truth, this is what 90 percent of the world is doing with regards to healing. Taking a symptom-based approach to long term health and in the process, never getting to the truth, never addressing the root.  

Let’s take a look at just two of the most hot button topics in healing right now...SIBO and Hypothyroidism.  

SIBO (small intestine bacterial overgrowth syndrome) is the condition of name right now being ascribed as the cause of a multitude of conditions...and most commonly, docs and health practitioners are touting...if your guts not right neither is your body...fix your SIBO and watch your total health change.

Now, challenge is, that statement is 100% right...if your gut is sick, you will be too...BUT they're looking at it as a condition whereby your gut balance is disrupted, and the only...

You have been trying so hard to heal….

Trust me, I know!  All those special plans, books, diets, supplements, herbs, meditation, paying attention to your mindset, getting movement...I know you have been working on healing for a long time.

It honestly sucks to have worked so much and have so little to celebrate about the outcomes!  Especially when you see other people saying it was just this “one” shift that did all the work.

I have a secret for you, it was never just one shift.

I have followed so many “gurus” over the years, watching their FB posts, reading their emails, and guess what...not one time was that “one” shift they sell the thing that healed them, and another truth...many of them aren’t really healed at all.

Reality is, there has never been just “one” thing wrong with our system when it presents us with symptoms...and symptoms are the result of maladaptation in body self regulation that has likely gone...