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Are you stuck in bitchy mode?

Uncategorized Apr 23, 2019

So I was picking up wood-fired pizza the other day, as I'm standing waiting, a family walks in, husband, wife, two girls, the place was packed, they were scouting to see if there were any available spots at the bar. Finding no open space, I catch the wife do this voice that I think every woman has done in her life... it is that almost demonic, angry, but under your breath voice, you know the one I'm talking about, the one that is filled with rage and frustration, but you're also trying to be publicly appropriate and hold it all in.

And I thought to myself, how many times do we get to that place where we're just so overdone that we resort to this part of us, that isn't us.

It's all the surface stuff. You know, that voice for her was probably a long day, kids that had been squabbling, not having had enough sleep, having a low libido, so she hasn't had a good orgasm in who knows how long, spending her life focusing on all the other things.

Then the endless barrage of internal conversations and questions...Did I eat the wrong things? Did I exercise enough? Is that bill getting paid? Is that getting taken care of? What did so and so think about me? Did I respond to that email? Did I respond to that text? Am I up to date on my Facebook postings?

All of these things that fill our lives, things which consume our bandwidth and drain our energy.

Then, because it never stops, we get to a place where the plan can't work and all this hidden sadness, fear, shame, guilt and anger comes spouting forward.

Now, having watched way too much Harry Potter with my youngest in the last couple of weeks, even though I know there's a beautiful Indian word for this concept of carrying around things in our heart,  all I hear is Horcrux, but it's really so apt.

We have these experiences because we have no context for staying rooted in the seat of pure energy inside of our cells and systems and organs. As we collect more evidence to these experiences, we get bombarded by these negatives and they stick to us and they leave these residues of frustration and anger of fear and sense of lack of not being enough of shame, and of guilt.

At some point, all this build-up becomes most of who we are and almost all of our interactions come from this place of wear down, frustration and fatigue.  In this space, we snap, lash out, and we push others away.

Over the years I've had interactions with women operating from this space and my heart aches every single time because it's not just me that they're interacting with from this place of lack.

That's how they interact with their friends and their family, their coworkers, and even themselves.

That angry, bitchy, snappish space. The thing is, as much as it sucks, when someone responds to you that way, it hurts way worse on the inside to be that woman, because the guilt that comes from having snapped at someone like that is so profound and it eats us alive.

Here's what happens...physiologically, we go into that space of lack and guilt and shame…. our cells feel it, they drop into a lower energy state, they become rigid just to like our mindset and our mood in that rigidity. From this space, they don't send messages, or take in nutrients, that's how we develop autoimmune conditions because it creates cellular confusion in that rigidity.

In this space, we become malnourished because the nutrients can't even make it into the cell. In that rigidity, our gut gets inflamed because that's where those emotions go to, they settle in the gut.

Then our muscles get tight because that's what happens next is that we brace ourselves against the internal turmoil being created by this constant barrage of bitchiness that we're inflicting on the world and inflicting on ourselves.

Because in truth, we are exhausted, we are frustrated, we want more joy, we want more fun, we want more sensual time, we want to feel alive and we are just sad.

In the end, we're getting more worn down and we know it. We're driving people away and we know it. We're losing our sense of joy and creativity and we know it and we're getting deeper and deeper into a place where there isn't much that can come.

Here's what I've noticed, when we really turn that around, not when we take on a new diet, not when we start swallowing better pills, not when we identify that we have a hormonal problem or shove a bunch of estrogen and testosterone in us to mimic happiness.

No, when we reconnect the mind, body, emotion, and spirit, when we tell the cells, it's okay, you guys, you can relax, let's make energy together, when we feed ourselves back to our best possible template, we ease the load of stress, we start to learn to feel again.

That's when it changes.

That's when life comes back.

That's when we thrive.

So if you're existing in that place of deep shame and guilt, sense of lack and bitchiness, what would it do to your life to stop snapping at the people you love and berating yourself for it afterwards and get back to being alive and joyful and restoring your relationships so you can really live again?

If you are ready, we are here, set up a time with us and let's heal.


Dr. Julie

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