Music

I attended a music festival this past weekend in the middle of Michigan. It has become the way my family and I mark the beginning of summer. Camping for 4 days at an old civil rights and peaceful action center listening to every genre of music while away from technology and stress completely.  

I marveled this weekend how the experience has changed for me over the past years.  See, completing this weekend involves massive amounts of walking...like 3 to 5 miles at minimum per day, carrying water, hours of standing or sitting in the sun, and late nights.  

We began going years ago, when my body still carried about 50 extra pounds and was generally constantly inflamed, despite eating a 100% organic diet, not consuming sugar, or vegetable oils, or drinking soda or doing countless other things that were opposite my ideal, I would leave that weekend feeling happy but wrecked.

Maybe you know the feeling, doing what you want to anyway, but having to pull yourself through the whole way. There were years where despite the fact that the music went until 2 AM, I couldn’t stay up past 10 because I was so tired, and my feet hurt from all the walking I couldn’t imagine doing anything but lie down.

Never mind putting on my summer clothes only to often find they were too tight, and did everything but make me feel free and at ease.

This year, I wandered through the festival noticing how none of that was part of my experience now. We walked and walked, and although I was grateful for rest, I never needed it as a necessity to keep going like before.  

When 1 AM came and the music was still good, I was happily out in it excited and joyful to feel the bass and dance in the crowd.  

Thinking on this made me realize just how much gets missed when we get used to feeling “off”.  How many concessions we make…how many concessions I had made: ”next year will be different”, “I will get on that when I get back” or “I am getting older...and it was a lot of activity”

I thought, how sad was that...I had lived where I was consciously trying to make it better, despite knowing that what was really true: I felt exhausted, in pain, worn out and fat and no amount of thinking about it a bit more was going to change it and it mattered because my life experience was being diminished every day I sat this way. With the music festival just being one of many examples from my own past to prove it.

I of course don’t live in that place anymore, nor do the women I help heal, but every one of us has been there.  

But faced with no understanding of how it changes, or feeling thwarted by having tried a million and one ways to fix it and not having success...we tend to get stuck...finding more of those reasons why it just can’t be right now...and then one more year passes...and it stays the same...and we arrive at those milestones...a festival, our birthday, a child’s birthday, our anniversary...and we try to make it better once again.

Kind of sounds crazy when you see it written doesn’t it?

Letting any aspect of this magnificent life be diminished by being too tired, too sore, too worn down, too worn out, too fat, too stuck…

I let myself live there for far too long.

If you are ready to stop living out that life...let’s talk, let’s change that path and get you back to living.

Blessings

Dr. Julie

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