What kind of memories are you creating?

One of the big impacts in my life of having lived so many years exhausted before I really got serious and did something about it was the memories that were created in that time.

Everything from that time has me tired. Those were the formative years for my kids, and their memories of me are going to be Mom was working, she was grocery shopping, she was cooking, she was cleaning, she was bitchy and she was tired.

I spent those years figuring the exhaustion would get better when they just got a little bit older, when my practice got to a smooth place, when we took a vacation, or had a free weekend. I always had these conditions I was placing on the outcome. It will get better when…. and the truth is it never got better.

It never got better until I did something significant, until I altered more than one variable. I tried diets, I tried exercise programs, supplements, yoga, meditation, even hormones.

The point being it didn't get better until I understood what the real cause was, until I really got serious about the fact that my body was doing exactly what I told it to do, which is keeping up an unending, ridiculous pace.

Truth was, I was doing nothing to feedback into the system because all I did was demand more and sadly, my kids and my husband got the brunt of that.
I lived in that space of, “Hey mom, do you want to play a board game? No honey, I'm too tired”. “Hey Mom, do you want to go for a bike ride? No honey, I'm too tired”. Or my husband saying, “Hey, sexy, and me being like, please, I've had a long day.”

My exhaustion made it that I pushed everyone away from me and I did it day after day after day and I did it with such justification in my head.
“Well, of course, I'm tired. Look at all these things I did”  “God, why do they expect this of me over and over and over?”

Thing is, it wasn't just my kids and husband, it was my family, my brother, my mom, my dad, I was sacrificing, having extraneous friendships and community too.

In truth, my life became all about obligation and every time I thought, “gosh, maybe I should do something about this”.

I had the justifications and the logic to say….it will get better and I am sure we will get beyond this soon”

I rode that roller coaster over and over and over until I realized that's not living. That's a shell of a person without connection, that's not having intimacy, that's not having joy, that's not living.

You may be thinking, gosh, that's where I live all the time. Maybe you're in that space where you think it'll get better when I just __________.

I'll tell you the reality is something much more significant. This is a whole-ism problem, meaning it encompasses the entirety of you. It is your beliefs and your spiritual path and your physicality and your nutrition and needing to replace nutrients and needing to hone in your rest and needing to balance your hormones, needing to heal your gut, needing to balance the tissue responses, needing to heal your nervous system. It's all of it.

Which means that if you take the path like so many want to take: I bet I just need to eat more green vegetables. I bet I just need to cut out sugar. I bet I just need to take more B vitamins, I need more yoga, I need more meditation, I bet I need a cleanse.

It sounds like the simple path, the “I bet that's all it is” but it isn't."

That “simple” path has you dillying and dallying at surface things for the next 10 to 15 years while you keep crossing your fingers and hoping that it gets better a month from now, six months from now.

The question becomes whether you want to create memories of more years where you were barely existing, you were floating through, you were pounding yourself into the gutter while constantly researching food, supplements, designer drugs, meditation, yoga, pilates, and everything in between.

Remembering it isn't just your memories you are creating, those who you love are sharing this timeline with you.
Generating more examples of you being less than who you could be and you not being able to show up with your heart open and your mind clear because that's not where you are capable of living because you're exhausted because the stress response is unremitting and it's affected every system in your body.

That's the real question. What kind of memories are you creating for yourself and for those around you, and are those the memories that you want to leave as the evidence of your life?

Are you sitting there hoping it's something simple, it's just one or two things... and how long are you going to gamble others lives and your own life on that premise?

That's the question you have to answer.

How many places in your life is this impacting and are you okay with that?

What would it be like to know exactly what your body has been asking for and how to remedy that forever?

I had to surrender many things to enter this place, but, every day, I am reminded how amazing it is to live again and create memories I can smile at….all the time.

Blessings!

Dr. Julie

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