One of the oldest writings in Chinese Medicine is by a man many say may not have existed, and yet, his words echo today at the root of how we actually heal.

Those who know when to halt are unharmed.

[Tao Te Ching chapter 44]

Halting, an act some quantify as lazy, for others as without ambition, and yet still others as without desire.

Isn’t it funny, we all crave balance, crave rest, crave a break, to be refilled and yet we strive to overcome those desires with focus, determination, and will.  And yet, as we do so, what we seek becomes even further from where we are.  

Our constant going, our constant drive, in an effort to achieve the goal of being free, the goal of independence, a break, of rest, of security, and we find ourselves feeling empty, without help, energy, resources, peace, joy, love, creativity and health.

Is that free? 

We push past reason because we do not want to be the one who “gave up” or “settled for small” all the while dreaming of a mo...

Zombie.

That’s what someone described their life like the other day.  Walking through, apparently animated, but on repeat. Too many women are living this way, animated but not alive, constantly accepting less and less from life because they are giving less and less to it.  Wondering sometimes how they got here, wondering how it could ever change, all alternating with numb acceptance.

Once you “exist” for long enough in that limbo of being technically alive but not living, it all starts to blur, becoming less and less weird, less and less painful, as you grow in apathy to the impact and the depth.  

This is how an estimated 60% of women over 40 are living...apathetic, numb, exhausted, and declining.

One would think there would be a movement in medicine to remedy this, an effort to understand it, or at least explain it...but that’s not happening.  

If answers are given at all, it is usually quantified as: 

Depression

Menopause

Age

Or if you happen to...

Yeah, every day I hear the same story from stressed and exhausted women. "I'm so tired, nothing works anymore and I feel like giving up... I don't know what to do, I've tried everything and I'm sick of feeling like shit..... every... single... freaking... day!!!!!"

Why does it seem when we women hit our 40s and 50s we slam a wall of exhaustion, get fatter and find ourselves ripping out our hair trying to get everything to align to our minds and our health? Why do we keep putting our needs and desires on the back shelf, then try to force a different outcome?

Can I ask, is it because as a women, you turned to force, will and control after giving everything to everyone else? Is it because you always put yourself second, all you had was force, willpower and control just to make do for your "right now" needs?

Do you find yourself saying," I just need to use even more force, will and control to get through this, again?"

The thing is, when we burn through this life force, it...

Did you know humans enter hibernation-like states?

No, we don’t go to sleep for weeks at a time, but we do enter pre-hibernation states physiologically.  See, hibernation is a state of low energy use for purposes of survival. In this state, the body conserves energy to run most basic functions in order to keep the organism alive when there are limited resources available or the body perceives it to be that way.

This is chronic stress.

This is where most modern people are living.

We experience it a bit differently...ok, a lot differently, but physiologically, it is a similar state.

See, in hibernation, bears mobilize stored fat to be used for energy, they do this by use of stress hormones, in this state, their cells adapt to lower function states in order to stay alive in the winter conditions.  Some physiological events which characterize this are: 

Low body temperature

Low pulse rate

Mental dullness

Low energy

Sound like anyone you know?

T...

Stress is really high right now, so many things to pay attention to in the world, it is as if the only stories we can find are ones where tragedy has struck.

Have you ever thought about what all that “news” does to our own life?

I know, on the one hand is the desire to stay aware and on the other the desire to turn it off.  I often wonder if the constant news cycle is creating more stress, which then creates more exhaustion which then creates more pain, panic, and guarding.

The thing is, our body doesn’t know the difference between being guarded from an event we read about or one we live through.

We cannot change society or build up peace from a state of guarded pain. This is key, Einstein said: 

“You cannot solve a problem from the same mindset that created it.”

Yet, isn’t that what we are living right now?  Pain, exhaustion, worry, fear, panic...that’s where many are existing, day after day, is it any wonder we see this presentation is self in the world arou...

What is normal?

We exist in a world with sickness as a normal, knowing someone with a serious chronic disease isn’t rare, knowing family who have been burdened with a serious disease isn’t only common, it has become almost expected.

For women, knowing other women who are tired, who spend their life on a diet or a new exercise regimen, or trying out the latest, greatest, magic supplements are all now normal.

Someone said to me the other day, they know they aren’t in a good place, but they are better than what “normal” is. 

This got me thinking, how many people are comparing themselves to illness as their gauge of wellness?

Think about it, if our “normal” is sickness, then what are we really comparing to?

Of course, just being exhausted seems better than cancer.

Of course just having pain seems better than MS…

But isn’t that how we get to those places?

Comparing our misery with dire situations and using those comparisons to make our misery seem incon...

I think it's time we destroyed a misconception that's propagated widely in the world. That misconception is:  if I'm skinny, I'm healthy. 

I have talked to so many women and have found that among those that don't need to lose weight, despite having a multitude of known health conditions, they will commonly say, “but overall I'm healthy.”

Now, sadly, this flies in the face of reason because if you've got known health conditions, despite wanting to proclaim your health, you no longer can stand as being healthy. 

What I have found is, many of these women look at themselves and say,  I'm the correct size for my body, my BMI is great, when I go to the doctor, they think I'm doing a fantastic job.  

But how off does it feel to be able to say both “I don’t feel well” and “I think I am quite healthy because of my size”?  Now, I get it, because we live in a world which evaluates overall health, success and value on what our exterior says. Sadly, even doctors get caught up in t...